A Yes Day is like warm chicken soup

Warm chicken soup is good for the sole, so they say. Well a "Yes day" is to your mental health, what chicken soup is for your sole.

Last Sunday I took my eldest out for a day in London - (big thank you to her wonderful auntie [my super sister] who arranged it). It was a day when I got to say 'yes' to my big girl all day long, and we were both buzzing  by the end of it (possibly from all the cakes eaten at afternoon tea, but I think more from all the positivity that day).

There were no exploding nappies, no vomits, no buggy versus stairs, no "can we find a suitable toilet?", no negotiations, no sibling arguments, no trying to please everyone, but.....

There were lots of
"yes, let's do it",
holding hands,
proper listening (not the half ear job I manage normally whilst chasing around after her siblings),
proper meal time conversations (not interrupted by the usual shrieking, plate throwing, toilet trips, food/floor recovery, endless menu conversations re sugar/gluten/dairy free foods and so on),
and lots & lots of FUN!!!!!

It's not to say that we don't have fun when we go out as a family - it's just it's very manic, I don't really focus on the fun - more the logistics, and eldest bean gets the least amount of attention - because her younger siblings beat her on age and disability. Top trumps.

I can't really put into words how good that day made me feel, and what a boost that has been. My daughter hasn't stopped talking about it either and is already looking forward to our next venture out - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - again a massive thank you to my booking agent (best auntie/sister EVER!!!!).

Book yourself some 'us time' with your other child/ren - and if you have a super helpful friend or relative that's reading this - perhaps they'll arrange it for you - otherwise (if you're like me), these things just linger an epic 'to do' list.

Love each other x

The good, the bad and the ugly - holidays with our disabled daughter

I've just published  a post about how successful our recent holiday was - and it was. But.... then I started to think of all the things I 'accept' or work around, but which if fixed, would improve our experiences immeasurably...... I don't like to be all doom and gloom, so I've kept it short and balanced it out with 'The Good' :o)

The Good

Queue Jumps

Thank goodness for the queue jumps. I feel the death stare from some 'normal' families - or maybe it's just paranoia.... but, these queue jumps are a godsend! Queueing with Little I would be the most stressful and physically exhausting experience. I'm not saying it is pleasant for any family during these epic queues, but if you don't believe how much harder it is with a side of disability, please borrow my daughter for a day. 

And remember - many disabilities are 'invisible' - so please keep death stares to the minimum and smiles to the max:o)

Chatter

People talk to us. Isla is so charming when she wants to be, and not many people can ignore her smile or her approach for a cuddle. We end up talking to lots of people who we wouldn't have had the opportunity to without Isla. You really meet some amazing people, who really open up to you. On the flip side, you do feel like the centre of attention - what with that and the shrieking and cutlery throwing! Please just smile at us!

The Bad

Menus 

I am staggered by how much unnecessary sugar there is in food. I know I shouldn't be - Jamie Oliver has been talking about it for ages. However, now my daughter does not eat refined sugar, I am staggered to realise how much food has it, from the humble chip to a 'healthy' salad. Geez Louise - give us a break! There is absolutely no bleeding need to put sugar (dextrose) on chips!!!!! And salad dressings..... if you need them to be sweeter - what's wrong with something unrefined like honey?! It's just plain lazy.

Aside from being off of refined sugar, our daughter  Little I, also has to avoid gluten and diary. Now each in isolation is OK (not great, but OK), when you add the two together, you may as well go outside and eat grass -  that's the best offer you'll get. I started having dreams of conjuring some money so I could set up my own restaurant. It's not just the total inconvenience for Little I, but I've realised how unhealthy the food is that I give my other two children when we're out and about, and how conditioned they are to eating it. :o(

The Ugly

Toilets

Little I is mobile, so at least I can attempt to change her standing up - but this often results in an unpleasant shower for me! And.... if there is a movement of the number 2 variety, she needs to be changed lying down and often cleaned head to toe. :o( Now, where should I do that? She's too long for baby change facilities, so I guess I'll use the toilet floor....... How much would you like to lie on the floor of a public toilet?

So here is a shout out to all those local councils, planners, restaurants, pubs, theme parks, play parks etc etc - PLEASE sort out your toilets/changing facilities, and PLEASE give more thought to your menus (for the sake of all of us!!!).

Love each other x

2 out of 3 = Success?

We've just returned from a successful holiday. A huge sigh of relief. There were moments of chaos, as any family would expect, but over all, on balance, I think we all had a good time. A big bonus here - no A&E trips and no lost children. I'm not even jesting - it's a genuine worry!

When thinking back about everything, '2 out of 3' seemed to sum most activities up. In other words, mostly we could only achieve 2 out of 3 children enjoying any given task. Is this normal? Is this a success? Is this in-line with a 'neuro-typical family'? I think so....  Does that make us normal? haha! When deciding if 2 out of 3 is a success, I should point out that all 3 of our children are head strong, stubborn and inflexible.....

Out on the bikes, Little I had a ball (wind, speed, bumps, danger......), while son just sat in the toddler seat so enjoyed relaxing. 2 happy kiddies. Whilst,  eldest moaned lots as her legs ached.... to be fair, she did tackle some reasonable hills for an untrained 8 year old...... but still, it did ruin the tranquility of the New Forest somewhat....... Obviously our Facebook pictures show a happier story!

On roller-coasters, courtesy of Peppa Pig World. Both girls ecstatic - again, bumps, speed, wind, danger and thrills for Little I. Son however cannot handle such pace. One very cross son!

The little history museum... Eldest and son engaged, took part in, did interactive tasks etc..... Little I, bored to tears!

Splash park - now you think this would be a winner all round. Well, girls were in heaven, but Son had issues - didn't want his trunks and UV top to get wet and got cross with anyone splashing......

Oh well, the search for our holy grail continues - a family activity we can all enjoy. I suppose I could say soft play would get 3 out of 3 happy kiddies, but there would be two exhausted grown-ups supervising the chaos..... but I guess we always are..... 2 weeks soft play all inclusive next time......?

On a more serious note, going on holiday with any disabled child, adds in a lot more planning, effort, work, and worry. Whether it's a physical disability or a behavioural disability. For us, we need a really safe environment, secure garden, no gas cookers!, lockable windows, wipe down furniture and floors. It's lovely to have a break from the norm, but it's not really a holiday. You can't switch off when you have a Little I, and you usually have company all evening and from early morning (if not all night!). We were very lucky that she was mostly calm in the holiday home. She spent the first few days shrieking lots, which made eating out interesting! but other than that (and a final night wobble), she coped well with the change. She's an outdoors kinda girl, so all that fresh air suited her lots.

I must take a proud Mummy moment here..... Little I's big sister and little brother were magnificent with her. They didn't flinch at all her shrieking in pubs or restaurants (I could learn from them), and they had an "Isla alert" game, every time she tried to wander off or climb something, where they would enthusiastically shout "Isla alert, Isla alert, Isla alert", as they dashed to 'rescue' her. Little bro also put on his 'nee-naw' siren.... Very funny and super heart warming for me and hubby.

The Summer hols can be a tough time for parents with kiddies like Little I, so be kind, be friendly, be thoughtful xx

Love each other x