OK, so I’ve been through several of these Summer Holiday things now. They have generally been nothing short of utterly disastrous and entirely exhausting (for me!). One of them even drove me to the edge and dangled me over.
And so, with another one looming, I have come up with my best attempt at a survival plan. You can dive on in with me, or you can wait for my review of success or failure in September!
So, how to split yourself 3 ways, when one of your children requires 1:1 care for her own safety - let alone for her to engage with activities and have fun….. Hmmm
First Idea:
Time-table the day. Rather than one long stretching abyss of a day, I’m going to do blocks of time and decide on how each one will be filled. e.g. Pre 10am, lazy get kids ready, bath, breakfast, Kid’s TV (yes - no guilt either). 10-12 Garden play/ planting/ sand-pit - only torrential rain will thwart me. 12 - 2pm lunch and chores (kids will love that one) 2-4pm Reward (for Chores) - trip to park (if I have a carer for little I) or arts and crafts (god help me). 4-5pm dinner. 5-6pm TV - oh yes, more TV. 6-7pm another bath-time! 7-8pm wrestle the neuro-typicals to bed. 8pm onwards - follow Little I around, picking up after our little hurricane has finished whizzing around.
Of course, whilst all this is going on, I will have my beady eye on Little I and my reflexes poised to divert her from danger!
Second Idea:
Book lots of help!!!! If you have family who can help, then diarise them in, so you know when your next bit of help will be - always have a goal! I am only fortunate enough to do this, as I currently get direct payments to pay for a carer. Social Care are currently trying to reduce or remove this from us, at which point I will cry uncontrollably. If you can’t get help, at least book your little conundrum into a holiday club to give you & any siblings a breather.
Third Idea:
Get a job!! I am thrilled that I have returned to the grown up world of work and for two half days each week, I will escape my prison and be a normal human being, who does not have to hear the word ‘Mummy’ every two seconds and who does not have to clear up poo.
Fourth Idea:
Book play dates. So it’s difficult/impossible to leave the house with our kiddies, so…. book playdates that come with low maintenance kiddies and great friends that bring wine :o)
Fifth Idea:
If you have a partner, INSIST that they take time off.
Sixth Idea:
Ensure your fridge is fully stocked with wine and chocolate
And finally take a deep breath.
Although this is tongue in cheek, I know that genuinely this is an incredibly stressful and difficult time for all parents with SEN children. You have to dig super deep for that extra bit of strength and resilience. Don’t beat yourself up if your child’s therapy takes a back seat. There is only so much we can all do and ultimately our own good mental health is essential.
Love each other x
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