I came across the idea of eggshells and empathy, when I was asked to write a blog piece on love, from our family's perspective. Our children are (as all children are) so, so different, with different disabilities, personalities, challenges, progressions, regressions - everything. We too as parents, are all very different individuals who react in completely different ways to each situation presented to us. If we turn our back on our child when they're born with a disability does that make us a bad person? Of course not - initial reactions are just that - we have no control over them. A lightening bolt has hit - for some this has an immediate effect, for others like myself, it has a numbing and 'get on with it' effect - a slow burn that finally erupts a few months down the line, when life as you know it implodes around you. Does it mean any of us don't love our children? Of course not!!!! We're dealing with a shock, an adjustment, some sadness, sometimes a sense of grief. It's different for everyone, and no matter how much you have in common - no two situations are ever the same. Please never judge.
When you write a special needs blog, you tread carefully, no matter what the topic - as if on eggshells, because you only ever want to offer empathy and support, but fear you may break one of those eggshells when you celebrate your child's latest achievement - knowing a friend's child will never achieve the same goal......, or talk about a fight you had and won to get a service (a fight someone else lost of couldn't face taking on). The alternative is to stay silent - but that's no solution. Silence leads to isolation, which is something I would never recommend - despite how tempting it can be at times.
There are days when Facebook will announce a child's achievement and it can stab right into my heart - but that doesn't mean I don't adore to see each child's hard earned achievements and want to celebrate with their parents. You just accept that some days, those bad days, the ones where you've had no sleep and your child has had epic bowel movements, no eye contact and spent the day spinning - on those days, it can hurt. Then you suck it all up and carry on - positivity beaming from your pours. It's not an act - you genuinely feel positive and genuinely are thrilled at all achievements big or small - it's just that in the face of so many extreme challenges, it can all come crashing down occasionally.
So onwards and upwards with that empathy and mind out for those eggshells.
Author: Claire Cook
www.brightfuturemarketing.co.uk
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